Grandma had the biggest heart, the strongest will, a meticulous personality, and is the most unselfish human being I have ever known. She was an entrepreneur with a phenomenal work ethic—you would never catch her taking a day off. She will be remembered as an incredible matriarch who was a natural born leader. She was also a perfectionist when it came to advocating the fundamentals in life—study hard, be diligent regardless of your choice of career, never spend beyond your means, respect your elders, to name a few. If I had to pick a favorite quote from her to share, it would be this: “Be frugal with yourself, but never be frugal when it comes to giving or assisting others.”
All the wisdom originated in 1921 in the district of Xinhui in Guangdong, China where grandma was born as an identical twin of two girls. Conditions led her birth mother to part with a twin, unfortunately giving her up for adoption. Luckily, she was adopted and raised by a loving family who had 3 sons but wanted a daughter. “They loved me like I was their own flesh and blood”, she would always recall. The strong work ethic that she preached began at an early age where she grew up harvesting bamboo as her first line of work. It was almost a prerequisite for her to be diligent and independent—especially being an adopted child and the only daughter. Despite only being educated through the 5th grade; she was a renaissance woman who was extremely knowledgeable and literate. She had an innate thirst for scholarship and taught herself throughout life by reading and studying anything she came across.
Growing up from humbled beginnings was only a glimpse of grandma’s adversities. During the Second Sino-Japanese war in 1937 (leading up to World War II), grandma had to flee China by boat to Saigon (later known as Ho Chi Minh City), Vietnam to begin a new life. As an adolescent, she embraced the Vietnamese culture and became proficient in the language. This unforeseen circumstance turned into a blessing in disguise as she met my grandpa at the age of 25. She was searching for work one day and saw a young paperboy struggling to sell his stack of newspapers so she decided to lend him a hand. That young man became our grandfather. As a kid, she would always tell me, “Meeting your grandpa was by far the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Subsequently, they decided to pursue their passion of being entrepreneurs together—immigrating to a better economy, the city of Battambang, in northwestern Cambodia. This was where our lineage was built; where Aunt Lay Hoa, our father, and Aunt Ly Fun were born.
Settling in Cambodia, grandpa owned a metal compounding shop while serving as a principal of a middle school while grandma was a loving provider at home—cooking daily for her family and their employees. Just like how she was always concerned about us being well fed, the employees who worked at the shop never went a day without food. Behind every successful man, is a great woman and grandma was certainly the epitome of that proverb. Grandma will be the first to tell you she had a passion for being an avid reader. Eventually this passion led her to manage a business that rented fictional comic books. She was a well-known “social butterfly” where she befriended many in the village—her reputation was that she always had the newest/latest books for rental. The creativity didn’t stop there as she expanded her talents by owning a fabric stand. This fabric stand sold exotic cloths imported from Vietnam and Thailand—as unique as its owner.
Unfortunately, the Cambodian Civil War and genocide carried out by the Khmer Rouge in 1975 forcefully relocated the family to the rural areas of Cambodia where they lived in poverty. Certainly not a stranger to starting over, grandma was always very savvy and witty. During this time of hardship, the limited amount of gold she had retained for trading was because she was clever enough to have hidden them inside bamboo sticks disguised as carrying poles to evade the Khmer Rouge.
Grandma lost the love of her life in 1978 when grandpa passed away. Unfortunately, later that year, the Cambodian-Vietnamese War had begun and grandma had the sole responsibility of guiding the family to safety, to avoid—yet another warfare. Events during this expedition stranded the family in northern Vietnam near Angkor Wat. During this terrible time, they had to be extremely resourceful. Their greatest asset was grandma’s communication skills and her ability to befriend allies who would provide tips and pointers on navigating the difficult terrain. She courageously increased the odds of survival by directing the family all the way to Saigon by foot where they lived with a family friend. However, she wasn’t done traveling just yet. In 1982, grandma’s leadership empowered the family to successfully reach a safe haven—a refugee camp in Thailand. This was the safest the family had ever been in almost an entire decade. Against all odds; grandma had an enduring will that outlasted three wars and survived a genocide in her relentless pursuit of better opportunity.

With support from Saint Michael’s Christian church, Grandma came to the United States with my father in 1983. I can only imagine how difficult this transition must have been for her and my family members.

In 1991, she and my parents moved into their current home where she helped raise my brother John and I, and lived 25 happy years sharing the same roof as my parents.
Her occupation was a homemaker, but if you ask me, that term does not fully encompass all that she was to our family. To my brother and I, she was a parent, our role model, a strong moral compass, and our protector growing up.
When we were kids, she walked my brother and I to school every morning, and like clockwork, she was outside waiting to take us home in the afternoon. She was our constant growing up and never seemed to tire. She never had any days off, and believe me, my brother and I were not an easy pair to raise. I remember one morning when I was 8 or 9 years old, after arriving at school, I told grandma she didn’t have to wait with me. Of course, we were always there early—Grandma was never late. I turned to her and said, “Grandma, I’m old enough to wait by myself; you don’t have to stay.” To my surprise, she nodded and left. For a while, I looked around and thought she had actually gone home, but out of the corner of my eye, I spotted her in the distance. In the outer perimeter of the school yard, resting her back under the shade of a sycamore tree, she kept watch over me, staying until the very last second. She was always fiercely protective of her loved ones, be they friends or family members. To them, she devoted all of her time and energy.
Even in her 70s, and more advanced years of age, she was still the first person in our household to wake up. Her mornings would start with an intensive hour of exercise in her room followed by stretching before beginning her daily walks. Every day she walked 3 miles, rain or shine, stopping at the grocery store and the park near our house. She was remarkably independent and insisted on preparing her own meals, all the while cooking for my brother and I.

When we were little, rambunctious and energetic, John and I would follow closely behind her on these walks, and she would show us the way, teaching us new shortcuts, like a passageway through a back alley or an opening in the fence behind the park. What amazes me is even though she never learned to read or write in English, and couldn’t rely on street signs, she managed to navigate through our community solely by memorizing buildings and landmarks. This was one of the many routes she discovered on her own. She had no one to teach her the way, but she was powerfully driven, had a natural curiosity and was above all, fearless.
It didn’t take much to make Grandma happy. She preferred her own handmade clothing over anything store bought and spent her free time knitting clothes and vests for loved ones. A simple good morning or a hug good night would always make her smile. Her main concern was always the well-being of her friends and family. She didn’t believe in living extravagantly, always reminding us that happiness cannot be found in material things. She taught us that hard work and perseverance was critical. Her only wish in life was to see her friends and family reach success and happiness.
She was a truly remarkable and unique person.
She was selfless and loving—always putting the needs of others above her own.
She was disciplined, pragmatic, brilliant, fearless, and truly one of a kind.
I will always love and admire her.

Despite the adversities that grandma faced, not once did I hear her ask, “Why me?” She may have had the longest and the hardest road, but it was never a road that she couldn’t handle mentally or physically. The world lost a tenacious hero and a rare talent; but we can find a bit of happiness today knowing that she's at peace. Whether you're one of her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friend or family member; be assured that she will now be an angel watching over us all.
Grandma – you’ve impacted my life in so many ways. You influenced and made all of us better as individuals and you were the glue that kept the family together. I will always love you and save a special corner of my heart to keep you with me. We will miss you each and every day of our lives. I know you're up there right now smiling down on us and you’re probably cooking lunch for grandpa just like how you used to do so for all your loved ones. In our eyes; you will always and forever be the greatest. Thank you all for being here today to honor Grandma’s life and legacy.
Your loving grandchildren,
John & Christine